Lessgo

oh boy oh boy i am feeling so so good about this semester. you know when you get that feeling that GOOD things are on their way? Good friends, good weather, warm bed, clothes on your back, a hope and a future.. what else could a girl need?

There is so much to experience in this world. But sometimes it's good to pause and just be happy. It's that cheesy quote, "Sometimes in the pursuit of happines, it's good to just pause and be happy." C'mon now, SUCH a good reminder if you really think about it!! Excited to get back in the swing of things, spend endless hours reading plays and doctrines on theatrical practices in Germany in the 17th century. fun right? :)

College. It's kind of awesome sometimes.

Happy Camper

I'm feeling a little loopy currently. I seriously have had the BEST weekend of my life. The past few birthdays I have been quite hesitant to celebrate.. 18, 19.. those sounded super old at the time and ushered in a whole new phase of "growing up." So I didn't even want to think about 20 for the longest time.. that just wasn't okay with me.
But I have now officially entered into my 20's, it was my Golden Birthday, and I just feel such a PEACE about everything right now. Granted I've only been 20 for a good three days, but they have been some of the best days ever. No exaggeration. Mama being in the city just brings great things.
Friday brought rehearsal, frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity, and tickets to Broadway's new revival of Godspell. Fantastic show. AND THEN, I'm pretty sure Mama threatened one of the crew members to pick me to win the backstage tour drawing after the show.. because we somehow won. Getting to see what goes on behind the scenes at theater in the round was definitely thrilling, and I always LOVE peeking into dressing rooms :)

Saturday brought coffee with the girls and magically, tickets to see Darren Criss in "How to Succeed..." The show was superb, right in the center orchestra. I was enthralled.. it was magic.
Sunday brought Drew Gasparini at Joe's Pub, where the fates somehow lined up for Teal Wicks and I to sing a duet together. I am still unsure as to how that happened. I am overwhelmed, to say the least. Cliche, but a dream come true. I am so happy and feeling BLESSED to be living in the greatest city on earth, with such supportive friends, a great college, and a future and hope through Him who never gives up on me.

January

Cold. 15 degree weather. This California girl does not approve of this. How many days til summer?!?

January is shaping up to be a busy month.. but extremely peaceful. I am relishing these days where I get to sleep in a bit later than during the school year, watch as many episodes of Gossip Girl on Netflix without feeling guilty for not doing homework, and chillin in the MMC theater at rehearsals. I believe no matter what show you are in or type of performance you're doing, the rehearsal process is always a wondrous thing. The other day I checked out four books about Judaism and the entire history of Russia to prepare for my tragic portrayal of Bella, a young Jewish immigrant coming to America with her overprotective father. Good times!!
I think my favorite part so far are the mornings. Chillin at school with a warm cup of coffee.. looking out at all the people bundled up in their coats wandering the city. There's a different aura about the city this month. It just seems slower.. more calm. I like it.

I must admit though, I'm already looking forward to summer. Crazy, huh!? Maybe it's the freeeeezing weather here. My family back in California love to facetime me and show the sunny, 60 degree weather outside, while I'm wearing about three sweaters, boots and earmuffs. But it's all a part of the adventure :) Crazy to think after this semester, I'm halfway done with college. Weird. It seems when I started, I felt so anxious for it to go by fast, I wanted to be out there in the real world! And sometimes I definitely do still feel that lack of patience in myself. However, this is a special time in my life, in my friends' lives. I turn 20 this week! I don't want to grow up, and after talking to some of my friends who are 23, 24, 25, it seems the general consensus is that you never really feel ready to grow up! I don't think I will ever enjoy leaving home after Christmas break or making my own dinner... why can't Mama and Pops just live with me here?! So I guess I'm trying to savor these years, no matter how anxious I may feel to get out there and do what God is calling me to do. But there are so many adventures to be had, lessons to be learned, and friends to make.

I read recently that

"the greatest risk in life is not taking one."

How true. I am trying to remember that with all of these big life decisions knocking on my door at this time in my life.



And it looks like I'll be performing in Grease in Phoenix, Arizona the first half of this summer! I am very excited for a new adventure, scary as it sounds to me right now. May seems so far away right now.. but I am looking forward to performing in a new state, living in an apartment with roommates.. sounds scary and risky and adventurous. Never did I think I would actually get cast in the show.. I sort of went to the audition just for the experience. But if there's one thing I've learned, it's that God sometimes takes us to places when we least expect it. Looking forward to what is in store with this adventure..

I hope everyone is having a warm (somewhat) January and drinking tons of hot chocolate. No matter where you are in this great big world, I send good wishes your way and a hug to you today. <3

2012

Even the sound of "2012" sounds awesome.
I've got a great feeling about this year, ya'll. I say we all pick ourselves up by the bootstraps. COURAGE. That's my word for this year. Have the courage to be ourselves, the courage to do the things we want to do, the courage to swallow our pride, reach out to others, do things with abandon. Doesn't that sound nice?

As for 2012.. let's kick it off with a bang. I am so stoked to be performing at Joe's Pub on January 22nd. And I just found out I will be singing in a trio with the incredible Miss TEAL WICKS. That feels amazing. Teal was the first Elphaba I saw in Wicked in San Francisco. I cried, I waited two hours to see her afterwards at the stage door, I'm trying not to fangirl too much here, but I am seriously amazed and stoked to get to perform with her!

So how bout it? Let's remember the incredible opportunities, relationships and experiences 2011 brought, and try to release the negative ones. Good things are happening, great things are ahead. COURAGE.

Psalm 126:3 - "The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy."

At the stagedoor with Teal Wicks after Wicked in SF, back in 2009! :)

I AM BACK

I'm back. And I'm ready to write.

Sometimes you just need to take a step back and realize that life is awesome. But also really weird and awkward and super challenging sometimes. I love coffee dates. Two people just taking the time to sit back, sip on a liquidized form of yummy, and reflect/dream/muse about the future/past/present. It's inspiring and great. That's probably my favorite part about winter break.. getting the time to just talk about life with close friends. To pause for a moment, slow down, see how you've grown since you last met up.

Lately I've started to realize (EVEN MORE) how many crazy dreams and goals and interests I really have. I seriously cannot focus on one thing, I always have to be multi-tasking while watching a movie, doing something productive while chatting on the phone, making to-do lists during class. Somehow it helps me focus better, or so it seems. But lately it's really started to bug me, and sometimes even those around me. WHY do I feel the need to make all these lists of all the things I want to do and obsess over them? I spend so much time thinking about the future, I think we all do, and sometimes that causes us to miss what is right in front of us. I tend to look at the cover, not the inside of the book. I tend to dismiss ideas/relationships/obstacles easily, thinking I've got them all figured out. But sometimes I really don't even know the half of it. It's kind of exciting to be proven wrong.

I'm just sort of musing here.. I've missed my blog. I stopped writing on here because I realize "blogging" and blog sites might not be that "in" anymore. I started posting on tumblr more.. but it's just not the same. So for once and for all, I don't mind if absolutely no one reads this. ..Although I could just be saying that to make myself feel better about my nerdy guilty pleasure for writing. But for real, I love blogging and i don't care who knows! *insanely nerdy moment*

So here's to the end of another year. It was definitely an adventurous one, for sure. Insane growth happened, risks were taken, amazing friendships have become stronger. I hope 2012 is just insanely off the hook.
I hope for more coffee dates, more time to just slllooowww dooowwwwwn and stop freaking out and overplanning and overanalyzing and being productive every minute of the day. Here's to stopping to smell the roses, as well as the people around me.
..Even if I don't particularly like their scent.
;)

This Big

I love you more than words can say
I love you more than hours in a day
I love you more than the moon illuminates the night sky
I love more than the times we’ve had to say goodbye

I love you more than the length of pavement between us
I love you more than the strength of the demons trying to defeat us
I love you more than the warmth of your arms wrapping me tightly in an embrace
I love you more than the hours I count down until I get to see your face

I love you more than I could ever say, write down, explain, or even sing
I love you more than I could ever show, put into words, ponder, or even dream
I love you as long as the stars will burn
as long as the wind blows, the sun shines, and the world turns.

But I promise, I will love you long after that
I will love you longer than we can even dream.

I promise, I will love you til the end of time, and maybe even more
I love you til the end of time, and maybe even more.

rant.

You see,

sometimes you don’t have to be the absolute BEST at something. Sometimes you just need to take a step back and be happy with YOURSELF. You can achieve all the success and recognition and first places prizes in the world, and maybe I’m just trying to console myself here, but I want to be happy first and foremost.

My life isn’t solely revolving around getting every leading role or having the best double pirouette or having the most intellectual ideas. That would be awesome if I did. But maybe I should just try my best at everything and leave the rest to God and the Universe to guide me where I fit in this great little world of ours. Maybe I should just find that sweet spot withIN myself to draw all my power and strength from. Don’t go from the outside-in.

It all comes from within.